Congrats to Another Happy Couple!

In honor of one of my besties getting engaged this past weekend, I am re- posting about my wedding dress experience and how to find a wedding dress. So if you've read it before, but suddenly find a ring on your left ring finger, read it again, before you set out for your journey to find a white dress! Congrats to all the happy couples out there!

photo by HCM

Two weekends ago, I tried on my wedding dress for the second time. When the seamstress called me to let me know that my dress was ready for my first fitting after alterations, I became incredibly nervous. For some reason, I had forgotten about the dress. This is probably because I was scared and had buried it in the back of my mind.  Let me start from the beginning of the hunt for my wedding dress.

After I became engaged, my sister made an appointment for me at a very nice, clean, and quite bridal boutique. I was welcomed with coffee, fresh baked cookies, and chandeliers. They even had a pedestal for me to stand on and view myself in each of the dresses. My sister is all things wedding. She loves weddings… and when I say love I mean LOOOOOVE! She took charge and pulled dresses and told the nice saleslady what to put me in. I figured the best part of the whole wedding planning process would be to try on all these dresses since I am all about fashion, well I was wrong.  I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a dress. So many options, so many designers, I was actually overwhelmed when it came to clothes! I knew my wedding was going to be a garden, vintagey theme and I thought I knew what type of dress I wanted. I tried on tons of dresses. The ones I thought I would like, I hated. The ones I thought I’d hate I kind of loved. I’m usually great at this but I was feeling overwhelmed.

Everything looked so pretty and special on. I was torn. I fell in love with 3 dresses by the time I left, but wasn’t willing to commit to any of them. I knew that once I bought my dress that was it. No returns. No going back. That is the only dress I get. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what I wanted in fashion. I had a headache. I was tired. I didn’t want to try on anything else.  I was bummed that my expectations of having this incredible time trying on beautiful gowns and knowing exactly what I wanted weren’t met.

My sister on the other hand didn’t want to give up. She wanted to take me to a sample sale. Really? I’m tired! We get to the sample sale and it’s the total opposite of what I just experienced. It was chaos, madness, brides gone crazy with racks and racks of bridal gowns in no particular order. Seeing the fear and annoyance in my eyes, my sister takes charge again, she starts pulling dresses.  I have no idea how she can even tell what would look good when everything is all enclosed in plastic garment bags and hanging all ugly and squished together. I tell her she can pull 3 dresses and I’ll wait in the corner to try them on. She brings me the 3 options and strategically puts me in the first dress. She dresses me better than the professionals at the store do. I’m shocked. She even made a space for me to step into the dress without having me step on the dress. She clamps me in because they are all sample sizes. I step out and look in the mirror. I’m staring at myself, not sure what I’m seeing. But it’s dirty. It’s got snags, it’s missing beads, and the corset is torn. It’s a size 12 dress and I’m a size 2. I hear my sister ask me if I like it in a little bit of a panicked voice. Long silence…. I absolutely love it. Despite everything…it’s perfect. It’s the one…AND my mom loves it! She never loves anything.

Then we find out it’s the last one. We can’t order this from the designer anymore because it’s been discontinued. So if I want this dress, I have to take it “as is”. My sister inspects the dress, trying to see what can be done with it. Meanwhile I see a gaggle of brides eyeing me in the dress, wanting to have me take it off so they can try it on themselves. I’m angry, I don’t want anyone to touch this dress. I refuse to take it off. We come to the conclusion that if I love the dress, we can spend the money to really have it cleaned up and fixed professionally. Can you even take it down 10 sizes? We were told it was possible. It’s also ridiculously discounted and way below the budget we had planned for my wedding dress. Okay we buy it. I’m REALLY NERVOUS. My mom says we can sell it and get me another dress.  But I love this one. What if it doesn’t work out?

So after lots of research and some refusals to work on my dress, we find a wonderful lady who says it’s no problem and that she could “make it like new.” This is where I panic again. I’m suppose to just trust this woman to take my dress, send it off to the cleaners in NYC, take it from a 12 to a 2, and fix everything?! Yes. So I did and I left scared. I made myself sick with worry.  Months went by and I forgot about my dress. Then came the phone call…my dress is ready for the first fitting. My sister is across the country and my mom can’t make it. My Matron of Honor has a gig and can’t come either. Thank God one of my bridesmaids could make it. It was also fitting that I was with her for her wedding gown purchase and we’ve known each other since kindergarten. She is supportive, helps me get dressed, and takes pictures, I’m not alone. I put the dress on, it’s beautiful and actually frames my body perfectly now. Well almost, we still have a few inches to take in. The dress is actually ivory and clean, not the dingy yellow it once was! The corset is perfect! I’m not scared anymore. I’m happy! It’s beautiful, it’s everything I wanted, and it’s mine.

I’m not sure why it was so hard for me to commit to one dress or why I had such anxiety over it, but in the end everything worked out. I knew the right dress when I had it on. It’s kind of like all things in my life, my gut instincts usually are right and I never end up regretting them. Being impulsive is good if you listen to your gut and heart.  You just kind of know when it’s right. It’s like when you find the right guy to marry, you just know. 

Mad Men Dress Up

I love my jeans and t-shirts. Come summer I live in my shorts and tanks with flip-flops. But has comfort and casual crossed a line? I can’t help wondering if we as women and men have lost something, by choosing comfortable and casual. Recently I got engaged. My fiancé loves Mad Men and anything vintage. So as an ode to him we had a Mad Men type engagement party and our engagement photos were also in the realm of that Mad Men type look.  So now comes the wardrobe.

Well for him it was easy, suite and tie. He loves his suits and spends good money on them so they already look and feel the style. Me on the other hand I had to search for a dress. Luckily I stumbled upon Unique Vintage in Burbank and found everything I needed in one stop.  There were so many beautiful dresses and the sales associates were super helpful helping me get in and out of the dresses. I ended up picking out an Olive Green dress with a brown clutch and brown gloves. I even got a cute feather clip for my hair. The price was not easy to swallow, but I felt like the part.  Also when I tried the dress on I knew it was the one.

So the day finally came to shoot. I was nervous, I felt silly, were we doing too much? Should we have just gone with shooting at the beach?  What will people think? The day started with me going to the hair salon and getting my huge up do. While at the salon, I was wondering how on earth the ladies of the late 50’s early 60’s ever got their hair done on their own. Well the answer was simple they didn’t, really. They went to the beauty salon and got their hair done and slept in scarves or they would sleep in rollers. So an 1 ½ later My hair is all dolled up and I’m feeling super self conscious, I’m not use to having my hair teased up and pined with so much hair spray I’m sure I’ve destroyed some ozone layers. Now it’s time to go home and put on my face. The black liner is simple enough, just a little more than I normally use for going out. I choose a peachy pink lip and I’m finished. Now comes the spanx. Since I’m not going to actually wear a girdle, I settle for the updated version. I’ve never worn spanx before, it was a struggle getting it on, but underneath the dress I loved the results. I zip up the dress (or have my fiancé help since clothes were not made to be put on by oneself back in the day) then I slip on the brown ankle strap shoes and look at my future husband. The look on his face was indescribable. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.  His eyes lit up. The dress accentuated my curves (being a size 2 I don’t really have much normally) and made my waist look tiny. I looked mature, grown, like a wife. I also felt really glamourous and feminine. When I see my fiancé in his suit all cleaned up and freshly pressed, my breath catches a little. He is so handsome! We look like we just stepped out of a time portal.

So off we go to meet the photographer at the location. A tiny vintage inspired hotel. I can’t walk very fast, but I am standing a little taller and feel like a WOMAN. Usually I get carded for alcohol and people never believe my actual age.  I feel beautiful and strong.  We look great with out surroundings, but then I notice the other guests at the hotel, they are the ones who look a little out of place. Their jeans and t-shirts don’t go with their surroundings. We are so use to casual nowadays especially Southern California. No one actually really wears a full suit to work here unless it’s a special meeting.  Women suits are boxy and manish a lot of the times and the sexy ones are considered inappropriate for the work place because of dress codes established in God knows when.  So while I’m incredibly grateful for the progress in women’s rights and equality as well as our undergarments, I can’t help, but feel a little longing for the fashion and care that was taken in one’s appearance in the early 1960’s. Even Marylyn and Audrey dressed down, was impeccably tailored and well thought out. So while I love denim a part of me longs for the fashion and glamour of the Mad Men Era. Not to mention the chivalry of men, which by the way was shown to me way more in the few hours I was all decked out.