Advice From a Stranger

Recently I was given a piece of wisdom; “never take advice from someone you wouldn’t want to switch places with.” It was like the universe heard all my fears and frustrations and gifted me with these words at a soon-to-be dark hour.

I was feeling a bit sad and doubting some of my decisions that I had made, even though I feel the happiest I’ve been in years. You know how sometimes, when everything is going well, great things are happening, and you’re busier than ever (but in a good way), somehow doubt manages to sneak up from no where? Well that was happening. Some people in my life, while I’m sure meant well, were making me doubt my actions.

It’s funny how when you’re happiest and passionate about something, people who are not as happy or are insecure, start to put their doubts and fears onto you. Normally I’d put on the old sweats, grab a bag of Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar, a coke, and plop down on the couch in front of the T.V., claiming that I was re-evaluating my path. Instead, I walked into a meeting for the first time where I didn’t know anyone and the woman leading the orientation gave me the words of wisdom, “never take advice from someone you wouldn’t want to switch places with.” This is so simple and phrased so beautifully. While I had grasped the concept, it was much clearer hearing these words from a complete stranger.

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m marring the man I love in 2 months, I feel proactive and in control of my destiny. There are so many great things happening in my life. So while I may have occasional problems and hiccups, I wouldn’t want to trade my life for anyone else’s right now.  Things are good.

Things are good
At my bridal shower

The wonderful woman that gave me the piece of advice that I keep reminding myself with for the last few weeks is Menena Givens. She is my adopted sales director for Mary Kay. Now I know there can be a lot of stigma that goes along with Mary Kay, but I also have met a lot of women in the past 3 weeks who have used the products for years and love it. I had looked into selling Mary Kay back in college, but found it too confusing. However, when I was really stressed last month about my upcoming wedding and worried about my new business venture, I was given a free facial with a bridesmaid by a Mary Kay Independent Sales Consultant.

My fist skincare party

She didn’t sell me or try to recruit me. She just gave my friend and I a wonderful experience. I was shocked at how much better my skin looked and what high quality products they offered, then my friend said, “you would be really good at this.” I laughed it off. But the idea kept popping into my head for a week.  I thought about how much fun it would be to give other women the same wonderful experience I had and help them feel beautiful on a different level. So I e-mailed Vicki, my Mary Kay Independent Sales Consultant…now recruiter and have met some amazing women in the last 3 weeks.  I figured worse case I’d just pay the $100 for my starter kit and play with the products and use the discount for myself, but the more I read about Mary Kay the more I wanted to share it’s legacy with others. I was inspired and felt passionate and full of possibilities.

I started to actually wear make-up, just because I could.  I felt prettier and better about myself.  My skin has never looked better either! My sales director encouraged me to attend the weekly meetings, so I did, feeling insecure and scared. What I found at the meetings were a bunch of inspiring, passionate, and motivated individuals. I’ve never encountered so many positive attitudes. Everyone was so welcoming and helpful. The problem was, not everyone in my life was super supportive about MK. Some questioned why I would do this? Don’t I have enough going on? MK?! Really?! So I walked into my first meeting already starting to doubt myself, but then I heard a few of the women’s stories and became inspired again. MK isn’t just about cosmetics and sales. MK is about women empowering women. Taking control of your life and goal setting. Mary Kay is helping me to see the positive side of things, plus it’s really fun and It’s helped me catch up with friends I haven’t seen in awhile.

So next time someone starts to make you feel doubtful about your life and your choices, think about it, would you want to switch places with them? Odds are…probably not. 

Life's Too Short, Put on Your Good Jeans

It’s funny how some things that you were told as a kid stays with you for life. Then you spend your adult life trying to unlearn those things. I grew up with the idea that nice things should be saved for a special occasion.  Those pretty, new, shiny shoes shouldn’t be worn until it was a special occasion and even then, don’t get them dirty or god forbid a scratch on them. Yesterday when I woke up, I looked at my closet and thought, well I’m not doing anything but working from home and then meeting a friend at Starbucks before I go for my run, so I shouldn’t wear my nice jeans. I should put on my old jeans, that don’t fit well, are a little stiff, and make me feel a little fat. WHAT WAS I THINKING? This goes against everything I believe in, but it’s been so ingrained in me to save things. This stops now!

This isn’t living and it definitely isn’t fun. So what if I don’t have anything special going on for the day? I should still dress my best and I should definitely dress to make myself feel great. Why did I knowingly put on jeans that I don’t feel great in when I have 5 pairs that do? Because God forbid the ones I like fade or get dirty.  I take really good care of my things, but this is a little extreme. The jeans will most likely go out of style by the time they fade or get holes in them. Also if they do fade, it’s not the end of the world, I can drive my butt down to the mall and get another pair. Somehow this thing that my parents kept telling me or expected of me when I was growing up, has stuck and it keeps creeping back into my life.

If I look back, it goes all the way back to my grandmother and probably her mother. My grandmother would save cookies and candy for special occasions, but usually by the time she brought them out to enjoy, they had gone stale or expired completely. This is where I get my phobia of mold and food gone bad, I have no problem tossing food that is slightly old. I can’t stand mold and I will freak out if the sell by date has passed and the food is still in my fridge.

Life is too short. These clothes, shoes, and accessories are just material objects, if you can’t enjoy them, then what’s the point? Clothes should be worn and enjoyed. They should make you feel great when you put them on.  What is a special occasion anyways? My last special occasion that really mattered was when I was proposed to wearing sweats, no make up, and messy hair. The moments that are important to us aren’t defined by what we wear and it wasn’t like I told my fiancé to hold on while I go put on my cute sweats, but I can’t help imagining the situation where I allowed myself to wear my nice sweats that morning. This is a perfect example of why you should always dress your best and for yourself, you never know what’s going to happen. You don’t want all the important moments in life to happen while your wearing jeans that make you look fat or sweats full of holes and coffee stains, do you?