Advice From a Stranger

Recently I was given a piece of wisdom; “never take advice from someone you wouldn’t want to switch places with.” It was like the universe heard all my fears and frustrations and gifted me with these words at a soon-to-be dark hour.

I was feeling a bit sad and doubting some of my decisions that I had made, even though I feel the happiest I’ve been in years. You know how sometimes, when everything is going well, great things are happening, and you’re busier than ever (but in a good way), somehow doubt manages to sneak up from no where? Well that was happening. Some people in my life, while I’m sure meant well, were making me doubt my actions.

It’s funny how when you’re happiest and passionate about something, people who are not as happy or are insecure, start to put their doubts and fears onto you. Normally I’d put on the old sweats, grab a bag of Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar, a coke, and plop down on the couch in front of the T.V., claiming that I was re-evaluating my path. Instead, I walked into a meeting for the first time where I didn’t know anyone and the woman leading the orientation gave me the words of wisdom, “never take advice from someone you wouldn’t want to switch places with.” This is so simple and phrased so beautifully. While I had grasped the concept, it was much clearer hearing these words from a complete stranger.

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m marring the man I love in 2 months, I feel proactive and in control of my destiny. There are so many great things happening in my life. So while I may have occasional problems and hiccups, I wouldn’t want to trade my life for anyone else’s right now.  Things are good.

Things are good
At my bridal shower

The wonderful woman that gave me the piece of advice that I keep reminding myself with for the last few weeks is Menena Givens. She is my adopted sales director for Mary Kay. Now I know there can be a lot of stigma that goes along with Mary Kay, but I also have met a lot of women in the past 3 weeks who have used the products for years and love it. I had looked into selling Mary Kay back in college, but found it too confusing. However, when I was really stressed last month about my upcoming wedding and worried about my new business venture, I was given a free facial with a bridesmaid by a Mary Kay Independent Sales Consultant.

My fist skincare party

She didn’t sell me or try to recruit me. She just gave my friend and I a wonderful experience. I was shocked at how much better my skin looked and what high quality products they offered, then my friend said, “you would be really good at this.” I laughed it off. But the idea kept popping into my head for a week.  I thought about how much fun it would be to give other women the same wonderful experience I had and help them feel beautiful on a different level. So I e-mailed Vicki, my Mary Kay Independent Sales Consultant…now recruiter and have met some amazing women in the last 3 weeks.  I figured worse case I’d just pay the $100 for my starter kit and play with the products and use the discount for myself, but the more I read about Mary Kay the more I wanted to share it’s legacy with others. I was inspired and felt passionate and full of possibilities.

I started to actually wear make-up, just because I could.  I felt prettier and better about myself.  My skin has never looked better either! My sales director encouraged me to attend the weekly meetings, so I did, feeling insecure and scared. What I found at the meetings were a bunch of inspiring, passionate, and motivated individuals. I’ve never encountered so many positive attitudes. Everyone was so welcoming and helpful. The problem was, not everyone in my life was super supportive about MK. Some questioned why I would do this? Don’t I have enough going on? MK?! Really?! So I walked into my first meeting already starting to doubt myself, but then I heard a few of the women’s stories and became inspired again. MK isn’t just about cosmetics and sales. MK is about women empowering women. Taking control of your life and goal setting. Mary Kay is helping me to see the positive side of things, plus it’s really fun and It’s helped me catch up with friends I haven’t seen in awhile.

So next time someone starts to make you feel doubtful about your life and your choices, think about it, would you want to switch places with them? Odds are…probably not. 

How Vera Wang Taught Me To Savor The Moment

Live in the moment and the pleasure of things before it’s gone. This past weekend I had the pleasure of helping a good friend shop for her wedding dress. A part of me was a little worried that I wouldn’t have fun because my dress experience was so stressful. I knew what my friend wanted and what she liked and what was her, so I started by making a few appointments. Unfortunately making dress appointments the week of is a little challenging. After making the appointments I called my sister to confirm with her that these places were going to give my friend the treatment she deserved. My sister had been to every dress place in Southern California at this point and said they would be good.

I got up early for a Saturday and headed to Costa Mesa to meet my friend. The whole way I was nervous, what if she hated this place, what if the experience won’t be fun, what if we can’t find anything? What if?! Then she called, she was already there, but I couldn’t find the place and it was already 10am!  How is it that I always get lost? She, the bride talked me to the correct shopping center and I relaxed. Seeing her happy face, I took a breath; she is excited and always positive, so why shouldn’t I be. She’s not going to blame me if she doesn’t have a good time, I hope.

We enter the fancy bridal shop, with beautiful chandeliers and a calm aura. The wonderful personal shopper was kind, attentive, asked all the right questions, and was super sweet to my friend. I relaxed. She was whisked away into a room full of Vera and Monique. I knew she would be happy with her friends.

I however was left with a few Newport Beach housewives, who could have used a little less Botox and filler and a little more humanity and class. I always forget how money can’t buy style or class; instead they had plenty of snobbery and pseudo wealth.

Then my friend came out in her first dress. She was stunning and beautiful. She looked romantic and very ballerina like, just like she envisioned. Words can’t do her image justice. The whole day was fun from there on out. We spent 2 hours trying on dresses, and then went to have lunch and purchase shoes for my wedding. We ended the day with another bridal shop that was just as accommodating and spent another 2 hours playing dress up.

The whole day made me realize you only get one of these days. You only get to be a bride once (at least for the first time). This experience can only happen once. So why not savor every moment good or bad, enjoy the pleasures that the experience has to offer because it will never happen again. Even if my friend tries on the dress again at another store, that first dress she ever put on at the first store is the first wedding dress she has ever seen herself in.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with starting my own business, planning my wedding, and a baby shower, that I’m not enjoying the process anymore. There has been more stress and frustration with everything then pleasure. So I’m going to remember the day I saw my friend in a Vera Wang wedding dress and savor the moment. Because once a moment has passed, it’ll never happen again.  Time is so precious and I spend so much of it in a cloud of anxiety. 

Congrats to Another Happy Couple!

In honor of one of my besties getting engaged this past weekend, I am re- posting about my wedding dress experience and how to find a wedding dress. So if you've read it before, but suddenly find a ring on your left ring finger, read it again, before you set out for your journey to find a white dress! Congrats to all the happy couples out there!

photo by HCM

Two weekends ago, I tried on my wedding dress for the second time. When the seamstress called me to let me know that my dress was ready for my first fitting after alterations, I became incredibly nervous. For some reason, I had forgotten about the dress. This is probably because I was scared and had buried it in the back of my mind.  Let me start from the beginning of the hunt for my wedding dress.

After I became engaged, my sister made an appointment for me at a very nice, clean, and quite bridal boutique. I was welcomed with coffee, fresh baked cookies, and chandeliers. They even had a pedestal for me to stand on and view myself in each of the dresses. My sister is all things wedding. She loves weddings… and when I say love I mean LOOOOOVE! She took charge and pulled dresses and told the nice saleslady what to put me in. I figured the best part of the whole wedding planning process would be to try on all these dresses since I am all about fashion, well I was wrong.  I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a dress. So many options, so many designers, I was actually overwhelmed when it came to clothes! I knew my wedding was going to be a garden, vintagey theme and I thought I knew what type of dress I wanted. I tried on tons of dresses. The ones I thought I would like, I hated. The ones I thought I’d hate I kind of loved. I’m usually great at this but I was feeling overwhelmed.

Everything looked so pretty and special on. I was torn. I fell in love with 3 dresses by the time I left, but wasn’t willing to commit to any of them. I knew that once I bought my dress that was it. No returns. No going back. That is the only dress I get. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what I wanted in fashion. I had a headache. I was tired. I didn’t want to try on anything else.  I was bummed that my expectations of having this incredible time trying on beautiful gowns and knowing exactly what I wanted weren’t met.

My sister on the other hand didn’t want to give up. She wanted to take me to a sample sale. Really? I’m tired! We get to the sample sale and it’s the total opposite of what I just experienced. It was chaos, madness, brides gone crazy with racks and racks of bridal gowns in no particular order. Seeing the fear and annoyance in my eyes, my sister takes charge again, she starts pulling dresses.  I have no idea how she can even tell what would look good when everything is all enclosed in plastic garment bags and hanging all ugly and squished together. I tell her she can pull 3 dresses and I’ll wait in the corner to try them on. She brings me the 3 options and strategically puts me in the first dress. She dresses me better than the professionals at the store do. I’m shocked. She even made a space for me to step into the dress without having me step on the dress. She clamps me in because they are all sample sizes. I step out and look in the mirror. I’m staring at myself, not sure what I’m seeing. But it’s dirty. It’s got snags, it’s missing beads, and the corset is torn. It’s a size 12 dress and I’m a size 2. I hear my sister ask me if I like it in a little bit of a panicked voice. Long silence…. I absolutely love it. Despite everything…it’s perfect. It’s the one…AND my mom loves it! She never loves anything.

Then we find out it’s the last one. We can’t order this from the designer anymore because it’s been discontinued. So if I want this dress, I have to take it “as is”. My sister inspects the dress, trying to see what can be done with it. Meanwhile I see a gaggle of brides eyeing me in the dress, wanting to have me take it off so they can try it on themselves. I’m angry, I don’t want anyone to touch this dress. I refuse to take it off. We come to the conclusion that if I love the dress, we can spend the money to really have it cleaned up and fixed professionally. Can you even take it down 10 sizes? We were told it was possible. It’s also ridiculously discounted and way below the budget we had planned for my wedding dress. Okay we buy it. I’m REALLY NERVOUS. My mom says we can sell it and get me another dress.  But I love this one. What if it doesn’t work out?

So after lots of research and some refusals to work on my dress, we find a wonderful lady who says it’s no problem and that she could “make it like new.” This is where I panic again. I’m suppose to just trust this woman to take my dress, send it off to the cleaners in NYC, take it from a 12 to a 2, and fix everything?! Yes. So I did and I left scared. I made myself sick with worry.  Months went by and I forgot about my dress. Then came the phone call…my dress is ready for the first fitting. My sister is across the country and my mom can’t make it. My Matron of Honor has a gig and can’t come either. Thank God one of my bridesmaids could make it. It was also fitting that I was with her for her wedding gown purchase and we’ve known each other since kindergarten. She is supportive, helps me get dressed, and takes pictures, I’m not alone. I put the dress on, it’s beautiful and actually frames my body perfectly now. Well almost, we still have a few inches to take in. The dress is actually ivory and clean, not the dingy yellow it once was! The corset is perfect! I’m not scared anymore. I’m happy! It’s beautiful, it’s everything I wanted, and it’s mine.

I’m not sure why it was so hard for me to commit to one dress or why I had such anxiety over it, but in the end everything worked out. I knew the right dress when I had it on. It’s kind of like all things in my life, my gut instincts usually are right and I never end up regretting them. Being impulsive is good if you listen to your gut and heart.  You just kind of know when it’s right. It’s like when you find the right guy to marry, you just know. 

Tips on Finding a Wedding Dress by Diane

Hey Guys! So based on my last blog about finding my wedding dress, I asked my sister, Diane to write a guest blog about some tips for going about the very important task, So here she is:

I love weddings…everything about them.  I don’t know what it is about bridal stuff that gets me all excited and puts a glimmer in my eye, but the first time I saw the movie, The Wedding Planner, I wanted to be just like Jennifer Lopez’s character, emergency kit strapped to my waist and all. Every bride has some sort of idea of what her BIG day will look like.  Even the ones who say they never thought about it or don’t know what they want, deep down they know.  This is where I come in.  I have been a part-time wedding planner/coordinator for about 10 years now.  My mission…(and I always accept it) is to help make every bride’s vision come true.

One of the biggest challenges for a bride is finding the right dress. All eyes will be on her and the dress is such a statement piece. It is best to give yourself about 6-8 months before your wedding date for your dress. I know, such a ridiculous amount of time. Unlike a regular clothing store, bridal stores only carry one of each dress; therefore, it is called a sample dress. Once you say “yes” to your dress (I couldn’t resist the phrase), the store will call the designer and order your dress to be made in the European size closest to your measurements.  That’s right, the dresses aren’t just stored in a warehouse somewhere, they actually cut the cloth and make the dress when it’s ordered. This is why it takes so long and why you should give yourself plenty of time for alterations, to avoid paying “rush” fees, and to help minimize sheer anxiety overall.

When a bride gets ready to shop for her wedding gown, these are some of the things she should have in mind:  Budget, Style, and Personality.

Budget. Obviously this is an important one. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the silk, satin, tulle, beading, and lace. The worse thing is for a bride to fall in love with a dress that she absolutely can’t afford. Keep in mind that it’s not just the dress your purchasing; don’t forget to factor in alterations and accessories (veil, shoes, garter, etc). At the same time, don’t let affordability scare you away from finding your perfect dress. There are ways to find the same dress for less either online or at a sample sale (to be discussed in more detail later). The key is to be realistic. Don’t go looking at the Mercedes Benz of dresses if you can only afford Toyota level dresses. So, set a budget and start shopping.

Style and Personality. The type of dress a bride chooses can say a lot about her whether she knows it or not.  It can represent the bride in her true personality and it can also be an opportunity for her to show a side of her that’s been aching to be seen (perhaps a fun or wild side). With so many styles of dresses nowadays, it can be overwhelming. In my opinion, the first step should be to figure out your theme. What I mean here is, what is the overall tone of your wedding? Will it be formal, casual, fun, vintage, rustic, modern, etc. Many brides find the whole dress shopping experience to either be exciting or scary. Some can’t wait to be pampered and catered to. Some worry they don’t know what type of dress they should get. Some think they have to know exactly what they want before they make their appointment. And some fear that they won’t find THE dress. A lot of anxiety and expectations build up, which is why many brides have a hard time just getting started.  First of all, you don’t necessarily need to know exactly what type of dress you want.  In fact, it’s almost better when you don’t.  Reason being, if a bride goes into an appointment with only one type of dress in mind, she will more than likely be disappointed. In my opinion, it’s best to be open-minded. Sure, go through magazines and have tear sheets of what draws your eye.  But when you go to the appointment, it’s best to try on several dresses in all styles. I usually find that a bride is surprised that the style they thought would be perfect for them…isn’t; but the style they thought would look hideous on them…fits them the best. All dresses are saying something…some are classic, some are dramatic, some are fun and flirty, and some are sexy.  It’s up to you to decide on what you want your dress to say about you.  Just try on a bunch of dresses so you can narrow down what you like or don’t like.   

Saying Yes.  As with many brides I have talked to, as well as my own experience…when you find THE dress, you just know (whether you know it or not).  When I was getting married, I must have tried on at least 100 dresses. Seriously. But the one I ended up with, was one of the first few dresses I had tried on.  I saw it hanging on display.  It was a mermaid dress.  Very simple with no lace or beading, just a ruched silk satin bodice fitted down to mid-thigh, which then flared out into a skirt of layered silk organza.  A large flower was adorned where the asymmetrical bodice and skirt meet, giving the dress a couture feel and the “something special” effect. Another bride got to it before I did. She was the super skinny type, with big boobs. She stepped out in the dress and looked beautiful. I was jealous. She passed on the dress even though I thought she looked gorgeous in it.  I waited for her to leave and I snatched it from the rack. I was hesitant to try it on.  It’s a tight fitting dress and I’m no stick. The lady at the store encouraged me. I put it on. Before I even saw myself in it, I loved it. I step out to where all the mirrors were and confirmed my gut feeling. I felt like a bride. It fit me like a glove, hugging and complimenting the curves of my body.  I had butterflies in my stomach. This was it, this was going to be my dress!  But I was by myself so I didn’t feel that I could buy the dress on the spot.  Plus, it was $700 over my budget.  I take pictures and leave the dress behind.  I show one of my bridesmaids and my mother a picture of me in the dress, both wrinkle their noses. The dress is not a hit. You can only imagine my disappointment. I proceed to shop for my perfect dress but in the end, after visiting nearly 9 bridal stores and like I said, trying on hundreds of dresses, I just couldn’t get that dress out of my mind.  So in the end, I went back to the one I had fallen in love with and I bought it.  Oh, but I didn’t buy it from the original store I saw it in.  I shopped around and found it at another store for $400 less. Yay!  Lesson learned, I shouldn’t have let other people’s opinions influence me. Everyone has different tastes, different styles, and different opinions. When you go dress shopping, don’t necessarily go by yourself but don’t bring an entourage either. Too many opinions will cloud your judgment. Bring someone you trust, who can put their own preferences aside and trust your instincts ladies! Don’t let anyone else sway you.  When you find the dress that makes you feel like it’s THE DRESS, make it so.

Tips

So you’ve found the dress of her dreams.  If you absolutely fall in love with something but the store charges $2500 (for example), it is possible for you to find the same dress for less.  Designers give a range that their dresses can be sold for.  Each bridal store independently determines where in that given range they want to set the price for the dresses from that designer. It is possible for you to go to three different stores and find the same dress for three different prices.  Most dresses at a retail store will only vary in pricing by 10-15%.  But, you can also go online and sometimes find the same dress for about $500-$700 less, maybe more.  Some online stores will sell the same designer dresses as seen in the stores for a small discounted price but for the deepest discounts, you should be open to a previously worn dress, a sample, or maybe even a knock-off of your dress. There is usually a ton of sample sales right after the holidays and before year-end. Also keep an eye out for winter sales offering huge price breaks, as they get ready to move in the next season’s line of dresses.  My sister was able to get a beautiful lace, fully beaded designer gown for about $1000 less than the original cost because it was a sample dress that was discontinued. After alterations and a professional cleaning, the dress looked brand new and she was still under budget. So even though it can be tempting to purchase your gown at the store, sometimes it pays to shop around.  If you absolutely must have that designer dress from the shi shi store, then ask about their trunk shows where they showcase the designer and offer 10% off (better than nothing). Good luck!

Journey for a White Dress

Two weekends ago, I tried on my wedding dress for the second time. When the seamstress called me to let me know that my dress was ready for my first fitting after alterations, I became incredibly nervous. For some reason, I had forgotten about the dress. This is probably because I was scared and had buried it in the back of my mind.  Let me start from the beginning of the hunt for my wedding dress.

After I became engaged, my sister made an appointment for me at a very nice, clean, and quite bridal boutique. I was welcomed with coffee, fresh baked cookies, and chandeliers. They even had a pedestal for me to stand on and view myself in each of the dresses. My sister is all things wedding. She loves weddings… and when I say love I mean LOOOOOVE! She took charge and pulled dresses and told the nice saleslady what to put me in. I figured the best part of the whole wedding planning process would be to try on all these dresses since I am all about fashion, well I was wrong.  I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a dress. So many options, so many designers, I was actually overwhelmed when it came to clothes! I knew my wedding was going to be a garden, vintagey theme and I thought I knew what type of dress I wanted. I tried on tons of dresses. The ones I thought I would like, I hated. The ones I thought I’d hate I kind of loved. I’m usually great at this but I was feeling overwhelmed.

Some of my many choices

Everything looked so pretty and special on. I was torn. I fell in love with 3 dresses by the time I left, but wasn’t willing to commit to any of them. I knew that once I bought my dress that was it. No returns. No going back. That is the only dress I get. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what I wanted in fashion. I had a headache. I was tired. I didn’t want to try on anything else.  I was bummed that my expectations of having this incredible time trying on beautiful gowns and knowing exactly what I wanted weren’t met.

My sister on the other hand didn’t want to give up. She wanted to take me to a sample sale. Really? I’m tired! We get to the sample sale and it’s the total opposite of what I just experienced. It was chaos, madness, brides gone crazy with racks and racks of bridal gowns in no particular order. Seeing the fear and annoyance in my eyes, my sister takes charge again, she starts pulling dresses.  I have no idea how she can even tell what would look good when everything is all enclosed in plastic garment bags and hanging all ugly and squished together. I tell her she can pull 3 dresses and I’ll wait in the corner to try them on. She brings me the 3 options and strategically puts me in the first dress. She dresses me better than the professionals at the store do. I’m shocked. She even made a space for me to step into the dress without having me step on the dress. She clamps me in because they are all sample sizes. I step out and look in the mirror. I’m staring at myself, not sure what I’m seeing. But it’s dirty. It’s got snags, it’s missing beads, and the corset is torn. It’s a size 12 dress and I’m a size 2. I hear my sister ask me if I like it in a little bit of a panicked voice. Long silence…. I absolutely love it. Despite everything…it’s perfect. It’s the one…AND my mom loves it! She never loves anything.

Then we find out it’s the last one. We can’t order this from the designer anymore because it’s been discontinued. So if I want this dress, I have to take it “as is”. My sister inspects the dress, trying to see what can be done with it. Meanwhile I see a gaggle of brides eyeing me in the dress, wanting to have me take it off so they can try it on themselves. I’m angry, I don’t want anyone to touch this dress. I refuse to take it off. We come to the conclusion that if I love the dress, we can spend the money to really have it cleaned up and fixed professionally. Can you even take it down 10 sizes? We were told it was possible. It’s also ridiculously discounted and way below the budget we had planned for my wedding dress. Okay we buy it. I’m REALLY NERVOUS. My mom says we can sell it and get me another dress.  But I love this one. What if it doesn’t work out?

So after lots of research and some refusals to work on my dress, we find a wonderful lady who says it’s no problem and that she could “make it like new.” This is where I panic again. I’m suppose to just trust this woman to take my dress, send it off to the cleaners in NYC, take it from a 12 to a 2, and fix everything?! Yes. So I did and I left scared. I made myself sick with worry.  Months went by and I forgot about my dress. Then came the phone call…my dress is ready for the first fitting. My sister is across the country and my mom can’t make it. My Matron of Honor has a gig and can’t come either. Thank God one of my bridesmaids could make it. It was also fitting that I was with her for her wedding gown purchase and we’ve known each other since kindergarten. She is supportive, helps me get dressed, and takes pictures, I’m not alone. I put the dress on, it’s beautiful and actually frames my body perfectly now. Well almost, we still have a few inches to take in. The dress is actually ivory and clean, not the dingy yellow it once was! The corset is perfect! I’m not scared anymore. I’m happy! It’s beautiful, it’s everything I wanted, and it’s mine.

I’m not sure why it was so hard for me to commit to one dress or why I had such anxiety over it, but in the end everything worked out. I knew the right dress when I had it on. It’s kind of like all things in my life, my gut instincts usually are right and I never end up regretting them. Being impulsive is good if you listen to your gut and heart.  You just kind of know when it’s right. It’s like when you find the right guy to marry, you just know. 

Bride's Maid Dresses. To Be, or Not To Be

I know most brides say this, but I really do want my bride’s maids to wear their dresses again. I know It’s like almost impossible to pick a dress that everyone will like and look good in. I’ve been a bride’s maid 4 times now and I’ve never worn the dress again.  Thank God the brides had good taste and I looked good in the dresses they choose, but I still never wore the dress again. I am determined to be different; I picked a color that is very neutral so hopefully my friends don’t hate me for having them spend money on a dress that they possibly won’t ever wear again.

Most brides’ maid dresses run from $150 -$250, which I think is ridicules. Why so much just so everyone can look alike. Most of these dresses are poorly constructed with cheap fabric these days. Everyone seems to be cutting cost and raising prices. I remember my first wedding I was in. The dress was actually really well made with decent fabric; it also only cost $100 at the time. That was 10 years ago. These days for a basic, dress it’s still about $150 not including the alterations that everyone will most likely need. Knowing all this I started my search. I found lots of cute designs, but what am I going to do? Everyone has different bodies and tastes. I kept going back to J. Crew Weddings. They had the simplest no frills dresses that were also well constructed. So my good friend Heather made an appointment and off we went. Heather and Alyssa accompanied me to the first official bride’s maid dress fitting.  I was nervous.

Heather loved the strapless dress; Alyssa loved the ruffled collar dress. They both came in the fabric and color I wanted, so why not let them each get what they want? Done. Best spur of the moment decision I’ve made. Actually come to think of it, most of my wedding planning has been spur of the moment decision-making. They were both happy and they both looked great! The price didn’t seem to bother either of them either. Cool. So I picked out another dress to give the rest of the girls options. Why not? As long as everyone looks good and is in the same fabric and color it really doesn’t matter. J. Crew made it super easy to have this happen. It wasn’t an issue at all and while it may be a little confusing to decide on which one they want, at least they get a choice and I may get my wish that they do wear the dress again. I hate when you buy something and only get to wear it once, it’s just not economical. Trusting my gut instinct I sent out the e-mails notifying the girls.  I know that there is this common belief that the bride picks these ugly dresses for her bride’s maids so that she can look even better, but seriously I’ll be the one in a beaded, lace, ivory, gown walking down the aisle, I’ll look good and I’ll be noticed. My bride’s maids are doing me a favor, by supporting me on my big day. They have been through so much with me. Some of mine have even known me since kindergarten. These girls have seen me at my worst and best and still love me. They have been there for me through thick and thin and I am honored to have them help me out on my big day, which I will need a lot of emotional support, so why not try and have them look great and feel great too? 

Lesson Learned: I'm not Super Woman

            I may have been pushing myself too hard. As I write this, I’m still sniffling and feeling under the weather. Last week I started off strong. I was working out 2-3 times a day, eating extremely clean (looking back I might have not had enough calories for the amount of exercise I was doing), I was getting stuff done and even writing 2 blogs in one week, double my goal. Well I’m paying for it now. I’ve been sick since Sunday and this sucks. While I had a brief few hours were I felt good today because I had to, I put on real clothes and even did my hair and make up for an audition; however, now I’m worn out again. I just want to get better! I hate being sick. The worst part is I feel like all the work I was doing last week is gone. I’m going to have to build up all my strength again to start my running and yoga and because I’ve been sick, I just allowed myself Mac n cheese, extra cheesy and a coke because damn it, I wanted it.

            So I think the lesson here is while goals are good, you can over do it. My body is telling me I’m over doing it. The weird thing is that I didn’t even sense it coming, usually I’m really good at knowing that I’m worn out or that I may get sick, but this time I was all proud of the fact that everyone around me seemed to be catching things while I remained healthy.  This is also the time of the year where I usually do get sick, so I guess it’s not such a big surprise, It’s just a downer that even with all the good things I’ve been doing I am not super woman and will catch the bug going around. While I’ve been held up in my apartment for the last 4 days resting and avoiding human contact, I’ve been trying to figure out the cause of this nasty bug, was it the late night yoga class that I left drenched in sweat that did me in or the esthetician that was coughing the whole time while giving me my discounted facial from groupon? In the end it doesn’t matter, I got sick. My body needs rest, and I have to listen.  While I may not be able to attend yoga or run, I will not let this miss my deadline of a blog. Currently I am wearing my favorite comfy gray sweats that make me feel safe, a boy tank, and a gray sweatshirt. Yes, very unfashionable, but it makes me happy when I’m not feeling well. So here’s to next week and hoping I’m back to myself and can write about trying on my wedding dress for the first time since it’s been taken in from a size 12 and picking out the brides maid dresses that I hope my friends won’t hate me for. 

Mad Men Dress Up

I love my jeans and t-shirts. Come summer I live in my shorts and tanks with flip-flops. But has comfort and casual crossed a line? I can’t help wondering if we as women and men have lost something, by choosing comfortable and casual. Recently I got engaged. My fiancé loves Mad Men and anything vintage. So as an ode to him we had a Mad Men type engagement party and our engagement photos were also in the realm of that Mad Men type look.  So now comes the wardrobe.

Well for him it was easy, suite and tie. He loves his suits and spends good money on them so they already look and feel the style. Me on the other hand I had to search for a dress. Luckily I stumbled upon Unique Vintage in Burbank and found everything I needed in one stop.  There were so many beautiful dresses and the sales associates were super helpful helping me get in and out of the dresses. I ended up picking out an Olive Green dress with a brown clutch and brown gloves. I even got a cute feather clip for my hair. The price was not easy to swallow, but I felt like the part.  Also when I tried the dress on I knew it was the one.

So the day finally came to shoot. I was nervous, I felt silly, were we doing too much? Should we have just gone with shooting at the beach?  What will people think? The day started with me going to the hair salon and getting my huge up do. While at the salon, I was wondering how on earth the ladies of the late 50’s early 60’s ever got their hair done on their own. Well the answer was simple they didn’t, really. They went to the beauty salon and got their hair done and slept in scarves or they would sleep in rollers. So an 1 ½ later My hair is all dolled up and I’m feeling super self conscious, I’m not use to having my hair teased up and pined with so much hair spray I’m sure I’ve destroyed some ozone layers. Now it’s time to go home and put on my face. The black liner is simple enough, just a little more than I normally use for going out. I choose a peachy pink lip and I’m finished. Now comes the spanx. Since I’m not going to actually wear a girdle, I settle for the updated version. I’ve never worn spanx before, it was a struggle getting it on, but underneath the dress I loved the results. I zip up the dress (or have my fiancé help since clothes were not made to be put on by oneself back in the day) then I slip on the brown ankle strap shoes and look at my future husband. The look on his face was indescribable. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.  His eyes lit up. The dress accentuated my curves (being a size 2 I don’t really have much normally) and made my waist look tiny. I looked mature, grown, like a wife. I also felt really glamourous and feminine. When I see my fiancé in his suit all cleaned up and freshly pressed, my breath catches a little. He is so handsome! We look like we just stepped out of a time portal.

So off we go to meet the photographer at the location. A tiny vintage inspired hotel. I can’t walk very fast, but I am standing a little taller and feel like a WOMAN. Usually I get carded for alcohol and people never believe my actual age.  I feel beautiful and strong.  We look great with out surroundings, but then I notice the other guests at the hotel, they are the ones who look a little out of place. Their jeans and t-shirts don’t go with their surroundings. We are so use to casual nowadays especially Southern California. No one actually really wears a full suit to work here unless it’s a special meeting.  Women suits are boxy and manish a lot of the times and the sexy ones are considered inappropriate for the work place because of dress codes established in God knows when.  So while I’m incredibly grateful for the progress in women’s rights and equality as well as our undergarments, I can’t help, but feel a little longing for the fashion and care that was taken in one’s appearance in the early 1960’s. Even Marylyn and Audrey dressed down, was impeccably tailored and well thought out. So while I love denim a part of me longs for the fashion and glamour of the Mad Men Era. Not to mention the chivalry of men, which by the way was shown to me way more in the few hours I was all decked out.