How Vera Wang Taught Me To Savor The Moment

Live in the moment and the pleasure of things before it’s gone. This past weekend I had the pleasure of helping a good friend shop for her wedding dress. A part of me was a little worried that I wouldn’t have fun because my dress experience was so stressful. I knew what my friend wanted and what she liked and what was her, so I started by making a few appointments. Unfortunately making dress appointments the week of is a little challenging. After making the appointments I called my sister to confirm with her that these places were going to give my friend the treatment she deserved. My sister had been to every dress place in Southern California at this point and said they would be good.

I got up early for a Saturday and headed to Costa Mesa to meet my friend. The whole way I was nervous, what if she hated this place, what if the experience won’t be fun, what if we can’t find anything? What if?! Then she called, she was already there, but I couldn’t find the place and it was already 10am!  How is it that I always get lost? She, the bride talked me to the correct shopping center and I relaxed. Seeing her happy face, I took a breath; she is excited and always positive, so why shouldn’t I be. She’s not going to blame me if she doesn’t have a good time, I hope.

We enter the fancy bridal shop, with beautiful chandeliers and a calm aura. The wonderful personal shopper was kind, attentive, asked all the right questions, and was super sweet to my friend. I relaxed. She was whisked away into a room full of Vera and Monique. I knew she would be happy with her friends.

I however was left with a few Newport Beach housewives, who could have used a little less Botox and filler and a little more humanity and class. I always forget how money can’t buy style or class; instead they had plenty of snobbery and pseudo wealth.

Then my friend came out in her first dress. She was stunning and beautiful. She looked romantic and very ballerina like, just like she envisioned. Words can’t do her image justice. The whole day was fun from there on out. We spent 2 hours trying on dresses, and then went to have lunch and purchase shoes for my wedding. We ended the day with another bridal shop that was just as accommodating and spent another 2 hours playing dress up.

The whole day made me realize you only get one of these days. You only get to be a bride once (at least for the first time). This experience can only happen once. So why not savor every moment good or bad, enjoy the pleasures that the experience has to offer because it will never happen again. Even if my friend tries on the dress again at another store, that first dress she ever put on at the first store is the first wedding dress she has ever seen herself in.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with starting my own business, planning my wedding, and a baby shower, that I’m not enjoying the process anymore. There has been more stress and frustration with everything then pleasure. So I’m going to remember the day I saw my friend in a Vera Wang wedding dress and savor the moment. Because once a moment has passed, it’ll never happen again.  Time is so precious and I spend so much of it in a cloud of anxiety. 

Congrats to Another Happy Couple!

In honor of one of my besties getting engaged this past weekend, I am re- posting about my wedding dress experience and how to find a wedding dress. So if you've read it before, but suddenly find a ring on your left ring finger, read it again, before you set out for your journey to find a white dress! Congrats to all the happy couples out there!

photo by HCM

Two weekends ago, I tried on my wedding dress for the second time. When the seamstress called me to let me know that my dress was ready for my first fitting after alterations, I became incredibly nervous. For some reason, I had forgotten about the dress. This is probably because I was scared and had buried it in the back of my mind.  Let me start from the beginning of the hunt for my wedding dress.

After I became engaged, my sister made an appointment for me at a very nice, clean, and quite bridal boutique. I was welcomed with coffee, fresh baked cookies, and chandeliers. They even had a pedestal for me to stand on and view myself in each of the dresses. My sister is all things wedding. She loves weddings… and when I say love I mean LOOOOOVE! She took charge and pulled dresses and told the nice saleslady what to put me in. I figured the best part of the whole wedding planning process would be to try on all these dresses since I am all about fashion, well I was wrong.  I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a dress. So many options, so many designers, I was actually overwhelmed when it came to clothes! I knew my wedding was going to be a garden, vintagey theme and I thought I knew what type of dress I wanted. I tried on tons of dresses. The ones I thought I would like, I hated. The ones I thought I’d hate I kind of loved. I’m usually great at this but I was feeling overwhelmed.

Everything looked so pretty and special on. I was torn. I fell in love with 3 dresses by the time I left, but wasn’t willing to commit to any of them. I knew that once I bought my dress that was it. No returns. No going back. That is the only dress I get. For the first time in my life I didn’t know what I wanted in fashion. I had a headache. I was tired. I didn’t want to try on anything else.  I was bummed that my expectations of having this incredible time trying on beautiful gowns and knowing exactly what I wanted weren’t met.

My sister on the other hand didn’t want to give up. She wanted to take me to a sample sale. Really? I’m tired! We get to the sample sale and it’s the total opposite of what I just experienced. It was chaos, madness, brides gone crazy with racks and racks of bridal gowns in no particular order. Seeing the fear and annoyance in my eyes, my sister takes charge again, she starts pulling dresses.  I have no idea how she can even tell what would look good when everything is all enclosed in plastic garment bags and hanging all ugly and squished together. I tell her she can pull 3 dresses and I’ll wait in the corner to try them on. She brings me the 3 options and strategically puts me in the first dress. She dresses me better than the professionals at the store do. I’m shocked. She even made a space for me to step into the dress without having me step on the dress. She clamps me in because they are all sample sizes. I step out and look in the mirror. I’m staring at myself, not sure what I’m seeing. But it’s dirty. It’s got snags, it’s missing beads, and the corset is torn. It’s a size 12 dress and I’m a size 2. I hear my sister ask me if I like it in a little bit of a panicked voice. Long silence…. I absolutely love it. Despite everything…it’s perfect. It’s the one…AND my mom loves it! She never loves anything.

Then we find out it’s the last one. We can’t order this from the designer anymore because it’s been discontinued. So if I want this dress, I have to take it “as is”. My sister inspects the dress, trying to see what can be done with it. Meanwhile I see a gaggle of brides eyeing me in the dress, wanting to have me take it off so they can try it on themselves. I’m angry, I don’t want anyone to touch this dress. I refuse to take it off. We come to the conclusion that if I love the dress, we can spend the money to really have it cleaned up and fixed professionally. Can you even take it down 10 sizes? We were told it was possible. It’s also ridiculously discounted and way below the budget we had planned for my wedding dress. Okay we buy it. I’m REALLY NERVOUS. My mom says we can sell it and get me another dress.  But I love this one. What if it doesn’t work out?

So after lots of research and some refusals to work on my dress, we find a wonderful lady who says it’s no problem and that she could “make it like new.” This is where I panic again. I’m suppose to just trust this woman to take my dress, send it off to the cleaners in NYC, take it from a 12 to a 2, and fix everything?! Yes. So I did and I left scared. I made myself sick with worry.  Months went by and I forgot about my dress. Then came the phone call…my dress is ready for the first fitting. My sister is across the country and my mom can’t make it. My Matron of Honor has a gig and can’t come either. Thank God one of my bridesmaids could make it. It was also fitting that I was with her for her wedding gown purchase and we’ve known each other since kindergarten. She is supportive, helps me get dressed, and takes pictures, I’m not alone. I put the dress on, it’s beautiful and actually frames my body perfectly now. Well almost, we still have a few inches to take in. The dress is actually ivory and clean, not the dingy yellow it once was! The corset is perfect! I’m not scared anymore. I’m happy! It’s beautiful, it’s everything I wanted, and it’s mine.

I’m not sure why it was so hard for me to commit to one dress or why I had such anxiety over it, but in the end everything worked out. I knew the right dress when I had it on. It’s kind of like all things in my life, my gut instincts usually are right and I never end up regretting them. Being impulsive is good if you listen to your gut and heart.  You just kind of know when it’s right. It’s like when you find the right guy to marry, you just know. 

Bride's Maid Dresses. To Be, or Not To Be

I know most brides say this, but I really do want my bride’s maids to wear their dresses again. I know It’s like almost impossible to pick a dress that everyone will like and look good in. I’ve been a bride’s maid 4 times now and I’ve never worn the dress again.  Thank God the brides had good taste and I looked good in the dresses they choose, but I still never wore the dress again. I am determined to be different; I picked a color that is very neutral so hopefully my friends don’t hate me for having them spend money on a dress that they possibly won’t ever wear again.

Most brides’ maid dresses run from $150 -$250, which I think is ridicules. Why so much just so everyone can look alike. Most of these dresses are poorly constructed with cheap fabric these days. Everyone seems to be cutting cost and raising prices. I remember my first wedding I was in. The dress was actually really well made with decent fabric; it also only cost $100 at the time. That was 10 years ago. These days for a basic, dress it’s still about $150 not including the alterations that everyone will most likely need. Knowing all this I started my search. I found lots of cute designs, but what am I going to do? Everyone has different bodies and tastes. I kept going back to J. Crew Weddings. They had the simplest no frills dresses that were also well constructed. So my good friend Heather made an appointment and off we went. Heather and Alyssa accompanied me to the first official bride’s maid dress fitting.  I was nervous.

Heather loved the strapless dress; Alyssa loved the ruffled collar dress. They both came in the fabric and color I wanted, so why not let them each get what they want? Done. Best spur of the moment decision I’ve made. Actually come to think of it, most of my wedding planning has been spur of the moment decision-making. They were both happy and they both looked great! The price didn’t seem to bother either of them either. Cool. So I picked out another dress to give the rest of the girls options. Why not? As long as everyone looks good and is in the same fabric and color it really doesn’t matter. J. Crew made it super easy to have this happen. It wasn’t an issue at all and while it may be a little confusing to decide on which one they want, at least they get a choice and I may get my wish that they do wear the dress again. I hate when you buy something and only get to wear it once, it’s just not economical. Trusting my gut instinct I sent out the e-mails notifying the girls.  I know that there is this common belief that the bride picks these ugly dresses for her bride’s maids so that she can look even better, but seriously I’ll be the one in a beaded, lace, ivory, gown walking down the aisle, I’ll look good and I’ll be noticed. My bride’s maids are doing me a favor, by supporting me on my big day. They have been through so much with me. Some of mine have even known me since kindergarten. These girls have seen me at my worst and best and still love me. They have been there for me through thick and thin and I am honored to have them help me out on my big day, which I will need a lot of emotional support, so why not try and have them look great and feel great too? 

Holiday Frenzy

As the holidays quickly approach us and we are driven into a frenzy of shopping, work, colds, and extreme weather conditions, we may loose site of what really matters and what the season really is all about. For me it’s family and friends. Though I cannot be surrounded with my close friends as much as I’d like to this year with the mass amount of last minute work, events, and chores, I do think of them often. I’m not even sure how I’ll deliver everyone’s Christmas presents on time this year. It seems the older I get the more spread out and hectic everyone’s lives become. Some of this makes me sad, but as I realize I’m engaged now and have responsibilities of my own that take away from being able to attend every holiday party and shop till to my hearts desire and eating fast food or God forbid even skip a meal to keep on shopping, I’m accepting that It’s okay to grow up a bit and have to say no. I still love everyone dearly and wouldn’t be the person I am with out them in my life (even though it’s been at a distance lately). I have amazing friends and family who support me and encourage me to keep going.

            It’s been such a crazy past week that I’m even behind on my weekly blog, that I promised myself I would commit to doing, but after freaking out and feeling guilty and like an utter failure, I relaxed, realized I’ll set aside some time today and take a few minutes before I start making dinner and write for myself.  

         

Since this is a blog about fashion and shopping and life, I'm dedicating it to gift giving. Now if you find that you hate shopping for gifts, or that you just hate shopping, or if your addicted to it like myself, I’m dedicating this blog to a list of my favorite on line shops. No more parking, waiting, driving, and germs from other shoppers! You can literally do everything on line these days and it has really saved my life this year for gift giving.

           

 Now of course you all know about amazon and ebay, but I’ve recently discovered  piperlime and I am in love! They have free shipping AND RETURN SHIPPING! That’s enough reason to shop here, but my favorite is that they have guest editors and Rachel Bilson (my fashion icon of the present) has her favorite picks of everything and you can click and buy, so easy! Best part is they always have sales and discount offers on some of my favorite designers. They even have gift cards!

            My other favorite go to designer on line shop would have to be bluefly This is for the higher end taste buds, but sometimes you can find some really great deals.

Remember if the gift is from the heart, the reciever will definatly appriciate it. I love to give gifts, I enjoy the process of looking for something that the special someone might really like and enjoy. I picture them using the gift in their lives. It makes me happy when I get to watch them open it. So try to enjoy this process that comes around only once a year and think of it as a way to honor those you care about. Don’t stress too much. Even if you can’t get anything too crazy or money is tight right now, I know I love it when I get baked goods. Be creative, knit a scarf, make some healthy new cookie recipies and wrap them up all pretty. It really is the thought that counts.

            Please feel free to ask me questions if you’re stuck on what to get someone this season! I love shopping and I would love to help you out!