Sometimes Your Just Surrounded by Assholes

There’s only 41 days left before I am a Mrs. I am checking things off my list of things to do and trying to stay focused on living a healthy, full, and productive life. Sometimes when I stop and look around I get a little panicky. I try not to have too much free time these days because it can cause anxiety and some depression on my part. Then last night, during my yoga class my teacher said, “Before we self diagnose that we are depressed or insecure, look around, maybe you’re just surrounded by assholes.”

Now I don’t think you should blame your problems on others or not take responsibility for your actions, but there’s truth to her statement. Sometimes no matter how hard I work and what I do, I feel yucky at the end of the day or something just makes me feel bad. I try to stay positive and I try to fix the situation instead of dwelling on it. But today, for example, when I was leaving the bank, I put my car in reverse and started to back up when this woman pulled up behind me. I stopped, but she proceeded to honk at me, not just one honk, multiple honks. I got really angry. I actually almost did an inappropriate hand gesture. I was already backing up and she was the one speeding behind me, wanting the spot next to me.

I started to feel guilty because I really shouldn’t be that upset, but I think this is a case where I was surrounded by an asshole.

What really frustrates me is when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. Now if I had kept backing up and had not made eye contact with the woman or didn’t see her, which I admit has happened in the past, then I take responsibility, please do honk at me to prevent an accident.

It’s the same thing when I’m at a light trying to make a right turn and the car behind me honks. Really?! Usually if I’m not going it’s because there is a pedestrian crossing the street. The car behind me can’t see, but they are so impatient that they have to rudely honk.  Some times, I get spiteful and will wait even longer just to irritate the guy behind me, but then that makes me the asshole.

Be responsible for your actions. Do everything you can to live a good, healthy, and productive life. Everything is going well in my life. I’m happier then I’ve been in years, I feel like I have a purpose, though at times I’m stressed out of my mind. Everything I can control is under control, but I still occasionally get that icky feeling. I’m just now realizing that that icky feeling isn’t always something I did or didn’t do, it’s from the assholes around me.

How Vera Wang Taught Me To Savor The Moment

Live in the moment and the pleasure of things before it’s gone. This past weekend I had the pleasure of helping a good friend shop for her wedding dress. A part of me was a little worried that I wouldn’t have fun because my dress experience was so stressful. I knew what my friend wanted and what she liked and what was her, so I started by making a few appointments. Unfortunately making dress appointments the week of is a little challenging. After making the appointments I called my sister to confirm with her that these places were going to give my friend the treatment she deserved. My sister had been to every dress place in Southern California at this point and said they would be good.

I got up early for a Saturday and headed to Costa Mesa to meet my friend. The whole way I was nervous, what if she hated this place, what if the experience won’t be fun, what if we can’t find anything? What if?! Then she called, she was already there, but I couldn’t find the place and it was already 10am!  How is it that I always get lost? She, the bride talked me to the correct shopping center and I relaxed. Seeing her happy face, I took a breath; she is excited and always positive, so why shouldn’t I be. She’s not going to blame me if she doesn’t have a good time, I hope.

We enter the fancy bridal shop, with beautiful chandeliers and a calm aura. The wonderful personal shopper was kind, attentive, asked all the right questions, and was super sweet to my friend. I relaxed. She was whisked away into a room full of Vera and Monique. I knew she would be happy with her friends.

I however was left with a few Newport Beach housewives, who could have used a little less Botox and filler and a little more humanity and class. I always forget how money can’t buy style or class; instead they had plenty of snobbery and pseudo wealth.

Then my friend came out in her first dress. She was stunning and beautiful. She looked romantic and very ballerina like, just like she envisioned. Words can’t do her image justice. The whole day was fun from there on out. We spent 2 hours trying on dresses, and then went to have lunch and purchase shoes for my wedding. We ended the day with another bridal shop that was just as accommodating and spent another 2 hours playing dress up.

The whole day made me realize you only get one of these days. You only get to be a bride once (at least for the first time). This experience can only happen once. So why not savor every moment good or bad, enjoy the pleasures that the experience has to offer because it will never happen again. Even if my friend tries on the dress again at another store, that first dress she ever put on at the first store is the first wedding dress she has ever seen herself in.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with starting my own business, planning my wedding, and a baby shower, that I’m not enjoying the process anymore. There has been more stress and frustration with everything then pleasure. So I’m going to remember the day I saw my friend in a Vera Wang wedding dress and savor the moment. Because once a moment has passed, it’ll never happen again.  Time is so precious and I spend so much of it in a cloud of anxiety.